Thursday, June 30, 2011
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Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
A SAD OBITUARY
A SAD OBITUARY
An Obituary printed in the London Times - Interesting and sadly true.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since
his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be
remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing
the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their
unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required
to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a
student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant
and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense
took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your
own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed
to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spill a little
in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust,
by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his
son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and
do nothing.
An Obituary printed in the London Times - Interesting and sadly true.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since
his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be
remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing
the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their
unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required
to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a
student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant
and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense
took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your
own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed
to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spill a little
in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust,
by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his
son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and
do nothing.
High School Exit Exam...!!
High School Exit Exam...!!
(Passing requires 4 correct answers)
1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass.
Check your answers below ...
ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8) What color is a purple finch ? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange (of course)
What do you mean, you failed? Me, too.
(And if you try to tell me you passed, you FIB!)
Pass this on to some brilliant friends, so they may feel useless too.
HOOVER, TRUMAN AND EISENHOWER:
HOOVER, TRUMAN AND EISENHOWER:
Here is something that should be of great interest for you to
pass around. I didn't know of this until it was pointed out to
me.
Back during The Great Depression, President Herbert Hoover
ordered the deportation of ALL illegal aliens in order to make
jobs available to American citizens that desperately needed work.
Harry Truman deported over two million Illegal's after
WWII to create jobs for returning veterans. And then again in
1954, President Dwight Eisenhower deported 13 million Mexican
nationals! The program was called 'Operation Wetback' so that
American WWII and Korean veterans had a better chance at jobs.
It took 2 years, but they deported them!
Fun Facts About Dogs
Fun Facts About Dogs
Greyhounds can run up to 45 miles an hour for very short periods.
Dogs have 42 teeth, cats about 30.
Dogs and humans are the only animals with prostates.
The dalmatian dog originate from Dalmatian coast of Croatia.
According to tests made at the Institute for the Study of Animal Problems in Washington, D.C., dogs and cats, like people, are either right-handed or left-handed --- that is, they favor either their right or left paws.
Domesticated cats are never mentioned in the Bible. Dogs are mentioned 14 times, lions 55 times.
The common belief that dogs are color blind is false. Dogs can see color but it is not as vivid a color scheme as we see. It is much like our vision at twilight.
There are 701 types of pure breed dogs.
The flea can jump 350 times its body length, that is like a human jumping the length of a football field.Anything over 45 minutes seems like forever to your dog. You will be greeted as enthusiastically coming back from a two-hour shopping trip as you will coming back from a two-day vacation.
A stray dog who is afraid of people will trust the people associated with the dogs it plays with.
The old rule -- multiplying a dog's age by 7 to find the equivalent human age -- is fallacious. A dog is able to reproduce at 1 year and has reached full growth by 2 years. To calculate a dog's age in human terms, count the first year at 15, the second year as 10, and each year after that as 5.
If a dog tolerates gentle handling between its toes, it probably is suited for children.
If two dogs are headed for a fight and they appear about evenly matched, the dog on his home turf will win easily.
If you want to be friends with somebody else's dog, let the dog make the first move, and don't be too quick to respond.
A kennel should be two times the length of the dog you are building it for. Measure the dog from its nose to the tip of its tail.
The best time for taking a puppy from its litter -- psychologically and physically -- is when it is 49 days old
All I Need Is A Miracle
All I Need is a Miracle
============
A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a
genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it. Lo-and-behold a
genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.
The Genie said, "Nope. Due to inflation, constant downsizing,
low wages in third-world countries and fierce global
competition, I can only grant you one wish. So, what'll it be?"
The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the
Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop
fighting with each other."
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady!
These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm
good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make
another wish."
The woman thought for a minute. She said, "Well, I've been
trying to find the right husband. You know, one that's
considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the
housecleaning, has a great sense of humor and gets along with
my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, rich, super
handsome, a great lover and is completely faithful and won't
even think about another woman. That's what I wish for. A good
mate."
The Genie let out a long sigh and said,
"Let me see that map again."
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Preventing angina pain
Angina (also called angina pectoris) is chest discomfort, caused by reduced oxygen supply to the heart muscle, in relation to its needs.
A regular exercise programme under the doctor's supervision can prevent angina.
A supervised weight-loss programme in over-weight persons also reduces the chances of angina.
Eat a healthy, well-balanced diet and avoid foods high in fat and cholesterol.
The blood pressure should be checked regularly and kept as close as possible to 120/80mmHg.
Get relaxed sleep at night.
Always carry the medicines prescribed by the doctor along with the prescription.
Take sublingual nitroglycerin/isosorbide (or the emergency treatment for angina as advised by the doctor) if stopping an activity doesn't help the pain, or
if the pain occurs at rest.
Follow-up regularly with the doctor.
Avoid stress.
Father's Day History
Father's Day is celebrated on 3rd Sunday in June. The idea for creating a day for children to honor their fathers began in Spokane, Washington. A woman by the name of Sonora Smart Dodd thought of the idea for Father's Day while listening to a Mother's Day sermon in 1909. Having been raised by her father, Henry Jackson Smart, after her mother died, Sonora wanted her father to know how special he was to her. It was her father that made all the parental sacrifices and was, in the eyes of his daughter, a courageous, selfless, and loving man. Sonora's father was born in June, so she chose to hold the first Father's Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the 19th of June 1910.
At about the same time in various towns and cities across American other people were beginning to celebrate a "father's day." In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge proclaimed the third Sunday in June as Father's Day. Roses are the Father's Day flowers: red to be worn for a living father and white if the father has died.
Father's Day has become a day to not only honor your father, but all men who act as a father figure. Stepfathers, uncles, grandfathers, and adult male friends are all honored on Father's Day.
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Saturday, June 25, 2011
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Friday, June 24, 2011
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Thursday, June 23, 2011
Giving Great Head
First of all, let me establish the most important aspect of giving a blow job -- confidence! A lot of women are self-conscious when it comes to giving head. While I can certainly understand being unsure of yourself, that's something you have to get over quickly in order to improve. Even if you're not the world's greatest, if he's getting a blowjob, he's pretty much already on Cloud 9. I'm not saying there's no wrong way to give head, because there is. I'm just saying that if his dick is in your mouth, for him, things are already off to a great start.
If you still feel unsure, tell your partner that you're nervous. Most guys will be not only understanding but turned on by what they'll see as your "innocence." They will be more than happy to guide you to what they like.
Also important is something that many people overlook -- position. Both partners have to be comfortable, which admittedly can be difficult at times. Also, the right position can give your man the perfect view of your handiwork. Here are a few positions that work for us:
1. He kneels on the bed or sits cross-legged, leaning back so I have plenty of access. I lay propped up on my side on the bed. This puts me in the perfect position in case he wants to finger me.
2. He sits on a low couch or chair and I sit on the floor, leaning into his legs to support myself.
3. He stands up and I kneel on a pillow.
4. He lays down (with his head propped with a pillow) and I lay between his legs with my arms propped up.
A few more somewhat silly things before you begin: Taking frequent breaks is not only a necessity for you (unless you enjoy lockjaw and chapped lips), it can also allow him to last longer and build up a more explosive orgasm. Don't feel bad if you need to stop -- just don't do it abruptly. Second, you may want to have what to me are a few sex "essentials" on hand: water/drink, lip balm, lube, and of course, a hair band to hold hair away from your face.
I like to start off by gently holding his cock in my hand (hard or not) and slowing kissing and licking just the head. The point is to establish to him that you love his cock would love nothing more than to give him a blowjob. At this point, you can also stroke him very, very gently. The lightest touch can feel really good as he's anticipating things getting more intense.
Before he starts to get too hard, I also like to put his entire cock in my mouth. My boyfriend's cock is quite large so this is often the only way he'll feel the whole thing in my mouth! Even if you can "deep throat" your boyfriend, he may still enjoy the sensation of having his cock in your mouth when it's soft.
As he gets harder, I stroke him with a little more pressure and continue licking, but this time going all the way up and down the shaft. The wetter this is, the better, so don't be afraid to slobber. Sounds gross, but it's true. Once he's gotten pretty hard, I move on to literally sucking his cock. Rather than just moving your mouth up and down his shaft, actually sucking on it (very gently at first) feels more intense for him. Another important tip is to try not to let his penis out of your mouth completely. As you pull him back out of your mouth, leave the head of his penis in and continue stroking and sucking until you go back down. Again, don't be too self-conscious. Sucking, slurping noises are a definite possibility, and trust me, most guys eat it up. Along those lines, also don't be afraid to do anything else that comes naturally, such as making noises or touching yourself. It turns guys on to know that sucking on his cock turns you on.
I mentioned earlier that my boyfriend's cock is big. I do deep throat him from time to time, but I have to adjust to it and I can't do much with his cock once it's in there! He generally likes it better when I have less in my mouth but can do more with it. I place my hand over the base of his shaft (the part my mouth isn't covering) and stroke him constantly whatever I'm doing to him with my mouth. So, just remember that you can still give good blowjobs even if you're not a sword swallower.
As I'm sucking him and stroking him, I continue to make things interesting with my tongue and hands. My tongue flicks the head of his penis as I suck it and swirls around his shaft as I suck up and down. With your hands, you can stroke his penis or do whatever he normally enjoys as far as balls and all that good stuff are concerned.
Here are a few more techniques we both like:
1. The "melting ice cream" method -- It's just how it sounds. I think I read it in a women's magazine and it really works! Just pretend like his cock is an ice cream cone and it's a hot summer day. It's melting fast and you've got to eat it all up. Then, just treat his cock exactly the way you would the ice cream. Another option here of course is to actually put whipped cream on his dick and then get every last drop off.
2. The "confused cock" method -- I made up the name, do you like it? We discovered this by accident but it drives him crazy. While sucking on his cock in one direction, I will gently stroke his cock the other direction, then switch. So, for example, I'll suck back gently on his cock while stroking it downwards towards his stomach, then switch, moving my mouth down towards his stomach and pulling my hand up on his cock toward my mouth.
3. "Vacuum" -- You got it - extreme sucking. My boyfriend likes to let me suck as hard as I can while he gently pulls back. Not every guy is this into having his cock pulled so don't do this with no warning.
When your partner is ready to come, hopefully he will let you know (or you'll be able to tell by his body language and sounds.) Girls have different feelings about cum. Some love it, some hate it, and some are indifferent. In my experience, it is worth it to me to swallow. For most guys it is an extreme turn-on; the perfect way to end the blow job. It only lasts a few seconds, so if the taste is unpleasant, you can just tough it out and then discreetly drink some water. However, don't force yourself to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you still want to provide a mega turn-on for your partner but don't want to swallow, there's a slightly less conventional option. As your partner is coming, take him out of your mouth and stroke him quickly (maintaining the same speed of your blowjob) and let him cum over your chest and stomach. Some people find this odd but to others it's a big turn-on. If you do want to do it, you might want to discuss it with your partner first just so he's not confused when the time comes.
Of course, this is what my partner and I enjoy and not everyone else will, but hopefully these ideas will help you break out of a blowjob rut or become more confident about giving head. Above all, get a partner who makes you feel confident and secure, and you'll feel brave enough to try anything that turns them on.
--
Life is like a penis,depending on how you play with it,depends on what you get out of it.
Susan
If you still feel unsure, tell your partner that you're nervous. Most guys will be not only understanding but turned on by what they'll see as your "innocence." They will be more than happy to guide you to what they like.
Also important is something that many people overlook -- position. Both partners have to be comfortable, which admittedly can be difficult at times. Also, the right position can give your man the perfect view of your handiwork. Here are a few positions that work for us:
1. He kneels on the bed or sits cross-legged, leaning back so I have plenty of access. I lay propped up on my side on the bed. This puts me in the perfect position in case he wants to finger me.
2. He sits on a low couch or chair and I sit on the floor, leaning into his legs to support myself.
3. He stands up and I kneel on a pillow.
4. He lays down (with his head propped with a pillow) and I lay between his legs with my arms propped up.
A few more somewhat silly things before you begin: Taking frequent breaks is not only a necessity for you (unless you enjoy lockjaw and chapped lips), it can also allow him to last longer and build up a more explosive orgasm. Don't feel bad if you need to stop -- just don't do it abruptly. Second, you may want to have what to me are a few sex "essentials" on hand: water/drink, lip balm, lube, and of course, a hair band to hold hair away from your face.
I like to start off by gently holding his cock in my hand (hard or not) and slowing kissing and licking just the head. The point is to establish to him that you love his cock would love nothing more than to give him a blowjob. At this point, you can also stroke him very, very gently. The lightest touch can feel really good as he's anticipating things getting more intense.
Before he starts to get too hard, I also like to put his entire cock in my mouth. My boyfriend's cock is quite large so this is often the only way he'll feel the whole thing in my mouth! Even if you can "deep throat" your boyfriend, he may still enjoy the sensation of having his cock in your mouth when it's soft.
As he gets harder, I stroke him with a little more pressure and continue licking, but this time going all the way up and down the shaft. The wetter this is, the better, so don't be afraid to slobber. Sounds gross, but it's true. Once he's gotten pretty hard, I move on to literally sucking his cock. Rather than just moving your mouth up and down his shaft, actually sucking on it (very gently at first) feels more intense for him. Another important tip is to try not to let his penis out of your mouth completely. As you pull him back out of your mouth, leave the head of his penis in and continue stroking and sucking until you go back down. Again, don't be too self-conscious. Sucking, slurping noises are a definite possibility, and trust me, most guys eat it up. Along those lines, also don't be afraid to do anything else that comes naturally, such as making noises or touching yourself. It turns guys on to know that sucking on his cock turns you on.
I mentioned earlier that my boyfriend's cock is big. I do deep throat him from time to time, but I have to adjust to it and I can't do much with his cock once it's in there! He generally likes it better when I have less in my mouth but can do more with it. I place my hand over the base of his shaft (the part my mouth isn't covering) and stroke him constantly whatever I'm doing to him with my mouth. So, just remember that you can still give good blowjobs even if you're not a sword swallower.
As I'm sucking him and stroking him, I continue to make things interesting with my tongue and hands. My tongue flicks the head of his penis as I suck it and swirls around his shaft as I suck up and down. With your hands, you can stroke his penis or do whatever he normally enjoys as far as balls and all that good stuff are concerned.
Here are a few more techniques we both like:
1. The "melting ice cream" method -- It's just how it sounds. I think I read it in a women's magazine and it really works! Just pretend like his cock is an ice cream cone and it's a hot summer day. It's melting fast and you've got to eat it all up. Then, just treat his cock exactly the way you would the ice cream. Another option here of course is to actually put whipped cream on his dick and then get every last drop off.
2. The "confused cock" method -- I made up the name, do you like it? We discovered this by accident but it drives him crazy. While sucking on his cock in one direction, I will gently stroke his cock the other direction, then switch. So, for example, I'll suck back gently on his cock while stroking it downwards towards his stomach, then switch, moving my mouth down towards his stomach and pulling my hand up on his cock toward my mouth.
3. "Vacuum" -- You got it - extreme sucking. My boyfriend likes to let me suck as hard as I can while he gently pulls back. Not every guy is this into having his cock pulled so don't do this with no warning.
When your partner is ready to come, hopefully he will let you know (or you'll be able to tell by his body language and sounds.) Girls have different feelings about cum. Some love it, some hate it, and some are indifferent. In my experience, it is worth it to me to swallow. For most guys it is an extreme turn-on; the perfect way to end the blow job. It only lasts a few seconds, so if the taste is unpleasant, you can just tough it out and then discreetly drink some water. However, don't force yourself to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you still want to provide a mega turn-on for your partner but don't want to swallow, there's a slightly less conventional option. As your partner is coming, take him out of your mouth and stroke him quickly (maintaining the same speed of your blowjob) and let him cum over your chest and stomach. Some people find this odd but to others it's a big turn-on. If you do want to do it, you might want to discuss it with your partner first just so he's not confused when the time comes.
Of course, this is what my partner and I enjoy and not everyone else will, but hopefully these ideas will help you break out of a blowjob rut or become more confident about giving head. Above all, get a partner who makes you feel confident and secure, and you'll feel brave enough to try anything that turns them on.
--
Life is like a penis,depending on how you play with it,depends on what you get out of it.
Susan
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
The Passenger
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him of the shoulder to get his attention. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the shaking driver said "are you OK? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me..."
The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said "I didn't realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly."
The driver replied, "No, no, I'm the one who is sorry, it's entirely my fault, today is my very first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for 25 years..."
The Exhibitionist
An exhibitionist named Joe was preparing to board a flight in Atlanta.
As he approached the open door of the plane at the end of the jet way, a very attractive flight attendant was collecting boarding passes.
As she reached down toward Joe for his boarding pass, he opened his trench coat and exposed himself in all his naked glory.
"I'm sorry, sir," she replied politely, "but you have to show us your ticket, not your stub."
As he approached the open door of the plane at the end of the jet way, a very attractive flight attendant was collecting boarding passes.
As she reached down toward Joe for his boarding pass, he opened his trench coat and exposed himself in all his naked glory.
"I'm sorry, sir," she replied politely, "but you have to show us your ticket, not your stub."
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