Monday, November 19, 2012

How I Became The Company Slut

By Donna Nelley donna.nelley@yahoo.com
 

Recently Tim and I went to New York so he could meet with some more clients and also show me the city. He told me to dress very sexy! On our first night out after seeing the sights, We stopped at a bar for a drink.
The men there were young and very forward and kept asking me to dance. I told them no at first, but Tim encouraged me to go ahead, telling the guys what a great dancer I am. So finally I danced with a cute boy named Leon . I had so much fun that I forgot the time -- and my boss.
Soon Leon was holding me very close, and I had to keep moving his hand off my butt. Actually I really liked it as I felt his manhood hardening against my body. After that I told Tim that I better stop dancing, because my partner was feeling me up and wouldn't stop. Tim said to let him have a little fun and not to worry.
He said to give Leon a little thrill and why not do it right, and go to the bathroom and take off your bra and panties. He added that it would give him a thrill as well, to see me giving a guy such a treat. I was hesitant at first, but Tim kept insisting telling me we could leave if I got uncomfortable at any time.
So I went along with it and took them off. My skirt was short and the thin silky material of my blouse didn't hide my nipples at all.
When I came out of the ladies' room my breast bounced and rubbed against the smooth silk, it felt really sexy and I was actually getting Into it. When I danced with Leon again he immediately noticed the change, and his hands were on my butt most of the time. I looked at Tim and saw that he was grinning and winked at me. Then Leon took the liberty of unbuttoning the top button of my blouse, which was already cut very low, and now I was exposed even more.
When I said nothing, it wasn't long before he undid the next button. My breast were almost fully exposed, and everybody watching seemed to be enjoying the show. Next I felt him start to pull my skirt up a little in the back. It was so short that any more of that and I would have been naked, so I stopped him and went back to the table.
When I told Tim about it he laughed and said it was harmless fun and not to worry. Soon another guy asked me to dance, and before I could say no, Tim told him I would love to. He was a good dancer too, and I enjoyed being with him. He told me how beautiful I was, and how much he enjoyed looking down my lovely cleavage. He hugged me very close so he could feel my nearly bare breast against him, and it felt really good. All the drinks were starting to take affect on me, and when he started pulling my dress up, I don't think I even knew it until I felt his hand on my bare ass. By that time it was to late, every man in the place had seen my naked legs and behind.
So I relaxed and let go, Finally I had to go sit down and rest and I apologized to Tim for letting things go so far, but he said he was enjoying it as much as the rest of the guys in the bar and told me to relax and do whatever felt good to me.
Leon came over again and Tim insisted that I go ahead and dance with him some more. "You Know what's going to happen," I told him. He's going to have his hands all over me." Tim just smiled and again told me to let myself go and just have fun. I was really getting hot, and I was really enjoying my self thanks in part to the alcohol and all the attention I was getting.
So I went back to dancing with Leon, he unbuttoned another button on my blouse. Now my breast were actually coming out of my blouse. I pretended not to notice, but I was the only one who didn't, Soon some of the other men started to cut in on the dance.
I sort of lost track of who I was dancing with, but they all had very roving hands. By now my ass was on display most of time as well, and Tim just sat back smiling at me.
The next time Leon danced with me he found the fastener to my skirt, and before I could stop it the skirt had dropped to the floor. The men started whistling and clapping and saying what a gorgeous ass I had. Then the last button of my came loose, and my C-cup breast were completely bare.
Leon kissed me and I let him, he then passed me off to big guy with a beard, and he kissed me too. There was a guy dancing behind me now, holding onto my boobs and doing nice things to my nipples.
When the music stopped I broke loose and ran to our table, Tim pulled me into his lap and kissed me very passionately, while running his hand all the way up my leg. My heart was beating like crazy , and my wetness was all over his pants. Leon sat next to us and began kissing my breast while Tim put a finger inside me, right then I had the strongest orgasm of my life. I felt as though I might pass out, and then some one took my hand and pulled me up and sat me on the edge of the table, and some guy was between my legs and inside me before I knew it.
I was so wet and slick that he slipped right in, I looked at Tim and he was watching with a big smile, Men were all around me now, their hands all over my body and all of them had dropped there pants and had dicks in hand waiting their turn, never in my wildest dreams had I ever imagined myself taking on so many strangers, but now it was happening right in front of my boss to top it off.
All I could do was scream for whatever stranger was fucking me to fuck me harder and faster, Tim leaned down and told me that he loved me and to fuck as many men as I wanted but I could stop any time that I wanted to.
Leon was fucking me now and he shot his load in me then he pulled out , then the guy with the beard moved between my legs, he was much bigger and had to work his cock in me slowly , but before long he was all the way into me. He gave me another intense orgasm as I felt more hands rubbing all over my breast and then my hands were placed on two cocks, by then I must have been fucked by a half dozen guys on that table, by then the table was getting a little uncomfortable, so the bartender a large black man suggested that they take me to his office, and use the couch to lie me on, and that way the guys could use my mouth too.
In the office they all took another turn with me, sometimes two at a time, one in my mouth and another in my pussy, I swallowed load after load of guys fucking me in the mouth and had cum dripping out of my over filled pussy running down my legs.
Before the night was over about thirteen or fifteen guys had fucked my pussy and mouth
and shot their cum on my face, tits, ass and my pussy. When every one had finally left I was worn out so the bartender let me wash off and sleep awhile in his office.
When I awoke later all I could think about was how good I had felt earlier, Tim looked at me and winked towards the bartender standing near like he could read my mind.
So I took John's hand and pulled him down next to me and started kissing him and rubbing his crotch I told him that I had never been with a black guy before and would he be my first.
John undressed and the sight of his big cock shocked me it was so big and it wasn't hard yet, so I pulled him up close to me and started licking his cock up and down its shaft till it grew to take both my hands around it, I sucked on his cock the best I could because of its size I could barely get my mouth around it.
I told John that I wanted him to try to get that big cock in my pussy, so he crawled up between my legs and rubbed the head of that monster up and down my slit till I was getting very wet. He began to slide it in a little at a time so it wouldn't hurt so bad, but it still hurt some, It took him maybe twenty minutes or so before he got it all in.
I felt like I was going to bust but after a little bit it felt better.
His cock was twelve inches long and a circumference of five and a half inches in my little white pussy, John fucked me for a long time giving me four orgasms before he filled my pussy with his massive load of hot cum, he pulled out of me and I went right to work sucking that big cock back to life so he could fuck me again.
Before morning came John fucked me three times in my pussy and came in my mouth once. After all this my pussy will never be the same, It will take some time for stretching it got from John to go back to its original size if that's possible.
I can't wait to go with Tim on another business trip!!

White Hottie Trying To Eat Bbc ... - XVIDEOS.COM

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Sunday, November 18, 2012

HOW THE HUMAN MIND WORKS


*A practical example of how the human mind works.*****
 
*Analysis of the above picture can tell us a lot about*
how different people think.

- For young men, it's a picture of a lady with a nice derriere*
but only the most observant will notice that she is crossing a street.

- The really observant will notice that she is wearing a thong.

- For older men, she appears to be a respectable woman - *
with a big ass - on her way to work.

- The perverts among them will imagine her naked.

- Wiser men will ponder the presence of mind of the*
photographer to take the shot in the face of such beauty and*
be grateful that they shared it.

- For half of the women, this is an ordinary woman who*
should not have left home dressed that way.

- The other half will think she is a slut but wonder*
where she bought that blouse

- Older women will imagine the misery that the woman's *
curves will cause by the time she reaches 50.

- But only children, the extremely intelligent, and *
the celibate will notice that the taxi is being driven by a dog**.*****

* **Now, go look again!!*

Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Sheepherder and The Whore




A sheepherder made it in to San Antonio, Texas, after 10 years in the bush. He found a saloon and approached the bartender. He told the bartender "I need a woman."

The bartender said, "There are women all over San Antone for a price."

The sheepherder replied, "Just any woman won't do. I ain't fucked nuthin' but goats 'n sheep for the last ten years. They got cockle burrs 'n mesquite thorns around their pussy and my old dick is tough with calluses on it, and I need a good tough piece of ass."

So the bartender tells him, "Well, you're in luck. The toughest broad in all San Antonio has a room right up stairs." The bartender picks up the phone, contacts the lady, explains the situation, and tells the sheepherder to go on up.

The sheepherder gets a small ice bucket with two Lone Star long necks (the favorite brew in San Atone), and proceeds up the stairs. When he gets to the room he says, "The barkeep told me you are the toughest broad in town."

The lady is livid, and says, "Well he's a lyin' son of a bitch. I'm the toughest broad in Texas, and probably in the whole United States."

Excitedly, the sheep herder says, "Well, you're just what I'm looking for." He then turned and leaned over to set the bucket of beer on the coffee table.

Just then, the woman threw her skirt up around her waist and bent over and grabbed her ankles. Her brown eye was looking him right in the eyeball.

A bit surprised, the sheepherder says, "Damn, baby. I know you're tough, but I don't wanna do ya that way."

To which the wench replies, "Who said any thing about that? I thought you wanted to open your damn beers."

Thursday, November 15, 2012

The American White Wife

The American White Wife:
More to continue later.
http://blackmastershango.blogspot.com/
What do a lot of white hubbies fear? That really is an important question when you come to think about it, and I would say it don't only rest with white hubbies but with just every husband out there in the world (although I wouldn't know if such applies to Eskimos or those who inhabit the wide sparse of arid habitation called Siberia, but please accept the humor and let's move on). 
For the purpose of keeping this straight, we're going to focus on white hubbies and their lovely wives. 
Every hubby carries a weighty fear of his wife and whatever she might be indulging into behind his back. Unless of course the hubby has got his mind all focused on work and making money to care about where his other half is or has been. The white wife has been the ultimate trophy woman since time immemorial. In the U.S., no place was this more evident than in the case of the American South. We can wonder why folks like the KKK ever got the temerity to go after coloured individuals, but we can look past the skin and see what lay hidden behind the southern white man's prejudiced mind. This subject of keeping the white woman chaste and harboured by societal restructures has been in vogue much through the early times of the twentieth century and well into 50's America. Hers was pictured into a model of a typical housewife: staying indoors mending to the kids' welfare and meeting with her female friends to play bridge and pass along dirty gossip of whatever is lurking deep underneath Suburbia America's backyard. How was she ever to know that they laid cracks under the shell? That the world was changing and most especially that she too was changing?
Then came the cultural revolution of the 60s, and like the messianic words of W.B. Yeats, `Things had indeed fallen apart and the centre could no longer be made whole again'. The mini-skirt was invented and the Pill revolutionized what had always been lacking in a woman's psyche. The black man's cries were resounding in the ghettos and won't ever be kept silent again. The white woman gradually became self-aware of what her fellow men had tried in vain to keep hidden from her eyes. 
Her children too were coming alive, more militant, more out-spoken than their parents ever were. They embraced the Counter-Culture, they read pornographic or banned literature, they smoked marijuana and dabbled with psychedelic rock and roll … and they discovered interracial sex.
It came with a silence that most never knew existed. Marilyn Chambers showed us what lay hidden behind the `Green Door', and before you knew it, this hidden lifestyle became America's favorite kept secret. Couples got into the act too. Behind motel rooms and closed bedroom doors, husbands introduced their hungry wives to secret pleasures they never thought they would ever find elsewhere outside their homes. 
The white woman became enamored of her own sexuality, and though there still exist cracks in the system, she no longer desired to be the indoor housewife much anymore. Oh, don't get me wrong, she still wants to be well-kept (which woman would ever want to be denied that?), but she wants the room and freedom to choose more of what she wants out of it. No longer must she be afraid of what Sex is about, not when she knows that she too is Sex. 
If it talks like Sex
Walks like Sex
Speaks of Sex
Dresses with Sex … then she is SEX.
Still the fight is not overly won. Around her is the weighting machine known as `Society', which still seeks desperately to return her to the lifestyle her mother and grand-mother were used to back in the 1950s. society is always poking its nose into her affairs, wanting to tell her what to do with her life: what sort of company to keep, the sort of husband she ought to pick for a mate, whom and how to make love, and to sit back and watch re-runs of `Desperate Housewives', when the kids aren't giving her headaches. The same goes with her husband too, who unconsciously acts as Society's wheel in keeping her glued to where she ought to be, to what she ought to make herself become.
The American Woman has a long fight to travel and a long journey to struggle. She is like the American black man of the 60s. Although separate by color, creed and substance, theirs is a struggle towards the Everest of society they ought to make…

Monday, November 12, 2012

The Black Vote From Republican to Democrat

A Brief Synopsis on the History of the Black American Vote: From Republican to Democrat

by Sonya Brookins on Monday, November 12, 2012 at 9:18pm ·
Initially, the original national parties were the Federalist Party and the Democratic-Republican Party.



In 1816, the Federalist Party essentially died; leaving a single political party, the Democratic-Republican Party. 



In 1818, of the 22 states in the union, 11 were free and 11 were slave states. This created a seemingly fair and equal balance of power for the states in the Senate but not in the House of Representatives. Since the House is inclusive of representatives per population, the Free states had more voices since they had more citizens.



In 1819, New York representative James Tallmadge set up a proposal to the House that would ban slavery in the newly created territory of Missouri.



The slave issue had been a staple of the Southern man's life and there was no way that the average land owning southerner was going to give this up. Not without a fight. Blood was on the minds of many of the citizens of America over the entire slave issue. One man saved the country from war; Henry Clay was considered one of the greatest pacificators of the era. On March 3rd, 1820, both Missouri and the free state of Maine were admitted into the Union. The balance was kept with one being free and one being slave.



By 1820, most of the Founding Fathers were dead and Thomas Jefferson’s party, the Democrat-Republican Party, had become the majority party in Congress. This change brought about a new congressional policy. This Congress passed the 1820 Missouri Compromise.



The Missouri Compromise of 1820 made it lawful to own slaves from the southern border of Missouri down through to Mexico, and illegal to own slaves from that line northward to Canada.



By the mid 1820’s, the Democratic-Republican Party had opposing views which resulted in a split within the party.



The Beginning of the Democratic Party



In 1824, Andrew Jackson lost the presidential election.  From his lost, the supporters of Jackson created their own organization to get him elected.  In 1828, the organization that split from the Democratic-Republican Party helped Andrew Jackson win the presidency.  After his election in 1828, that organization became known as the Democratic Party.



The Donkey:  the symbol of the donkey for the Democratic Party is said to have stemmed from Andrew Jackson. His opposition called him a jackass. Instead of taking it as an insult, he chose to adopt this as a symbol. This, in turn, became the symbol of the Democratic Party.



Major Beliefs of the Democratic Party:



The Democratic Party included a diverse group of individuals who typically emphasize the need for a greater role of the federal government in promoting social, economic, and political opportunities for all citizens. The party typically argues for more government control over economic matters and less government control over individual rights.



In support of Slavery, the Democratic Party enacted the:



The 1850 Fugitive Slave Law:  Northerners had to return escaped slaves, or else pay huge fines. This law destroyed the lives of many blacks in the north.  As a consequence, over 20,000 northern blacks left everything in the United States behind and fled to Canada. This is the period of time that the Underground Railroad was most active, helping blacks in the south, as well, escape slavery by making it all the way to Canada, all because of the Democrat’s far-reaching Fugitive Slave Law.



In further support of slavery, the Democratic Party enacted The 1854 Kansas-Nebraska Act:



The Democrats controlled congress and encouraged the spread of slavery into new territory to the northwest (previously slavery was not allowed in this area). 



A number of anti-slavery Democrats in Congress formed a new political party to fight slavery. Other anti-slavery members who joined them were from the Whigs, Free Soil advocates and Emancipationists. They wanted to gain equal rights for the slaves.



The Beginning of the Republican Party



In 1854, the need for a new party that would oppose slavery was felt strongly in many parts of the north.  Meetings were held in Michigan, New York, and other states besides Wisconsin as the momentum built. The name was first publicly applied to this movement in a June 1854 editorial by New York editor Horace Greeley, who said it would "fitly designate those who had united to restore the Union to its true mission of champion and promulgator of Liberty rather than propagandist of slavery."



The first convention of the new party was only held in Pittsburgh on February 22, 1856.



The Republican name was chosen because of the desire to return to the principles of freedom and equality. These are the principles first put forth in the documents of the republic before the pro-slavery Congressional members had misused and manipulated to their own purposes those original principles.



Republican Party Beliefs:



The abolition of slavery; the right of free speech; support of women’s suffrage; the reduction of the power of Federal government; the reduction of Federal bureaucracy; the return of power to state governments; the support of the idea of the primacy of the individual; to fight for the right of individuals in opposition to large "bloated" government; fiscal responsibility; immigration, religion, and the need for a strong business climate.



Republican voters were strongest in rural and western parts of the country, and they were highly successful at maximizing electoral votes to produce presidents: Ulysses S. Grant and Theodore Roosevelt were among their early successes. 



The Black Support for the Republican Party



 Initially, African Americans were supportive of the Republican Party because of the party’s anti-slavery views. 



The Great Depression of the 1930s worsened the already bleak economic situation of African Americans. They were the first to be laid off from their jobs, and they suffered from an unemployment rate two to three times that of whites. In early public assistance programs African Americans often received substantially less aid than whites, and some charitable organizations even excluded blacks from their soup kitchens.



Virtually ignored by the Republican administrations of the 1920s, black drifted to the Democratic Party, especially in the Northern cities.



In 1930 Republican Pres. Herbert Hoover nominated John J. Parker, a man of pronounced anti-black views, to the U.S. Supreme Court. The NAACP successfully opposed the nomination.



The Black Vote:  from Republican to Democrat



In the 1932 presidential race African Americans overwhelmingly supported the successful Democratic candidate, Franklin D. Roosevelt.



Most black voters switched to the Democratic Party in the 1930s when the New Deal offered them employment opportunities, and major figures, such as Eleanor Roosevelt, began to support civil rights. They became one of the core components of the New Deal Coalition.



After 1965, in the South, blacks were able to vote in large numbers when a bipartisan coalition passed the Voting Rights Act, and ever since have formed a significant portion (20-50%) of the Democratic vote in that region.



For decades, a greater percentage of white voters identified themselves as Democrats, rather than Republicans. However, since the mid-1990s whites have been more likely to self-identify as Republicans than Democrats

Why Martin Luther King Was Republican | Conservative News, Views & Books

Why Martin Luther King Was Republican | Conservative News, Views & Books

Sunday, November 4, 2012

5 Min Management Course

Subject: 5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE


Lesson 1:


A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.


Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."


After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.



After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:


A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"



The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for advancement will pass right by you.


Lesson 3:


A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."


"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.


"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."


Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4:


An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson 5:


A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story:
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson 6:


A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and shit on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

Saturday, October 13, 2012

What Your favorite Color Reveals About You

If your favorite color is:

RED Tend to be tigers in the sack. They are easily aroused and enjoy sex in
every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark is lighted, it may take hours to
extinguish. When two Reds get together, the ensuing erotica could make Lady
Chatterley blush. Lovers of Red tend to be the aggressors and weaker colors
should beware!

YELLOW If you tend to favor Yellow your sexual drivers are complex and lean
toward the adaptable. The favorite color of homosexuals is Yellow! No don't
panic, not everyone who wears Yellow is gay. In most cases the person will
acquiesce to the stronger partner's desires in a passive manner. You will
never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an invitation
from someone you enjoy or admire.

PURPLE Lovers of the color Purple frequently consider themselves too regal
for a fun romp in the sack. Women sometimes are the type who hate to muss
their hair. Men are businesslike in their approach to lovemaking. In both
sexes,Purple partners are more concerned with their fulfillment than anyone
else's gratification.

BLACK Black color preferences point to Black sex. These people are the
misfits of the sex world and seek out each other in kinship. They tend to
prefer perverted sex and are usually masochistic or sadistic in nature. They
are moody people and often perform at their peak when under stress or during
unhappy times. Police psychiatrists claim that many sex offenders prefer the
color Black. And it is no coincidence that the uniform of monsters and
teenaged gangs is Black attire.

GREEN Those who prefer Green are fresh and innocent in their approach to
sex. Women who love Green will make love like virgins all of their life. And
a man may always be a trifle clumsy and awkward, but in a charming and
endearing sort of way. Green lovers are gentle, but not passionate. If
chosen as a mate, one will never need worry about infidelity.

PINK Persons who like Pink show a reluctance to mature in sexual matters.
Women tend to tease; to promise more than they intend to deliver. In some
cases, they flaunt their femininity - but because they secretly hate men.

A great percentage of prostitutes boast entire lingerie wardrobes in Pink.
Men who like Pink are philanderers and flirts. They are the type who will
take three dates for the same evening and not keep one; preferring to pick
up a dish in some bar, instead. Women whose husbands like Pink should keep a
secret nest egg for when they are deserted. Pink indicates a tendency to
squander money.

ORANGE People who favor Orange tend to have sexual fantasies. The sex act is
regarded as a dramatic role, a one-act play in which they are the star.
Foreplay is as important as the act of love. They whisper sweet nothings;
meaningless dialogue they feel fits their image. Orange people often do not
experience orgasm, but they put on a darn good act. Men tend to pull their
partner's hair and women leave red welts on their sex partners back. But the
bruises and the ballyhoo add up to nothing.

BROWN If you love Brown, you are a real treasure for the right mate. Brown
lovers tend to be warm and deep. Sensitive to the needs and desires of their
partners. Sex is a 24-hour a day thing to them. They can't say "I Love You"
often enough. Snuggling by the fire, walking in the rain or catching
snowflakes on their tongue is a turn on to a lover of Brown. They need lots
of time and privacy to make love. But their emotions are such that one harsh
word could end the affair.

GRAY The color Gray is preferred by people who are indecisive. They can't
get excited about anything - including colors - so they choose a
noncommittal shade. Men who prefer Gray look at sex as a means of relieving
tension, (nothing more,nothing less). It's wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Women
who prefer Gray don't make love,they have intercourse. And for one of two
reasons,to accommodate their mate or to become pregnant. They count the
cracks in the bedroom plaster until the sex act is over with and done. When
a Gray marries another Gray, the marriage is made in heaven. But when teamed
with another color,the Gray spouse considers the color's infidelity a
blessing.

BLUE Lovers of Blue are wonderful sex partners. They are sincere,
affectionate and sensitive to their partners needs. They consider lovemaking
a fine art and their approach is elegant. Men who love Blue are like concert
pianists;delicately ravaging their partner like they would play a baby
grand. Women in the Blue category enjoy sex to the fullest. They are
exciting partners, but their passion might be compared to tidal waves rather
than fiery aggression. Both men and women enjoy foreplay and the aftermath
of love-making as much as the sex act itself. In marriage,a Blue person is a
wonderful mate - never failing to please the spouse and never seeking
outside
interests.

WHITE If a person in infatuated with White,sex often seems dirty. These
people are puritanical in nature. French kissing is obscene and to make love
in daylight in unheard of. Women who love White will undress beneath the
covers. Men will shower before and after the sex act. These people will use
pet names for their genitals.

Bootyfulvixxen • NEW 2 Min. Video         PRESS PLAY #For all the...

Bootyfulvixxen • NEW 2 Min. Video         PRESS PLAY #For all the...

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Things You Did Not Know

Stuff you didn't know you didn't know!                       

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.      

Coca Cola  was originally green.   

 It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska      

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get  this...)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%        

The cost of raising a medium size dog to the age of eleven:  $  16,400

The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000

 Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair..       

The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.

 The  San Francisco Cable cars are the only  mobile National  Monuments.

 Each  king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from  history:

Spades     King David

Hearts     Charlemagne

Clubs    Alexander, the Great Diamonds     Julius Caesar       

111,111,111  x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,  654,321

 If  a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front  legs in the air, the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes 

 Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July  4, John  Hancock and Charles Thomson.

Most  of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't  added until 5 years later.

 Q.  Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A.  Their birthplace       

                                          

    

Q.  Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested? 

A. Obsession       

Q..  If you were to spell out numbers, how  far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?  A.  One thousand       

Q.  What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common?  A.  All were invented by women.       

Q.  What is the only food that doesn't spoil?  A.  Honey

 Q.  Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A.  Father's Day

In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.

When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase...’Goodnight, sleep tight'         

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding,

The bride's father would supply his son in law with all the mead he could drink.

Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.        

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.’. .  .

It’s where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and  Q's'

 Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle  baked into  the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups.

When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 

'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.

At least 75% of people who read this will try to  lick their elbow!

YOU  KNOW YOU ARE LIVING  IN  2012  when...

1.  You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2.  You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3.  You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4.  You e -mail the person who works at the desk next to you.



5.  Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries...

7.  Every commercial on television has a web site at the bot tom of the screen

8.  Leaving the house without your cell phone, which  you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your  life, is now a cause for panic and you  turn around to go and get it

10.  You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee

11.  You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

13.  Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this  message.

14.  You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

You need this information

Clean Jokes
Warnings on Alcohol Labels Like On Cigarettes:
Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. (not applicable to men)
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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W ARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better-looking than most people.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. (not applicable to men)
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked..
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WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may mack you tink you kan tpye reel gode.
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Pass on to all your friends if you feel they may be in danger. (Make sure they're ones who drink, however.)
During a training cruise, a destroyer was weaving its way through a myriad of islands and small fishing boats. Although it was a clear day, the radar was in operation to train the reservists.
A report came from the radar room to the bridge, "Target bearing 230ยบ and believe it to be a log."
Unimpressed by this superb job of radar interpretation, the young officer of the deck scanned the water with his powerful glasses. Perceiving a pair of sea gulls on top of the accurately-reported log, he barked, "Radar, this is the bridge. Regarding your last reported target, there are two seagulls on that log, which you failed to report!"
There was a long silence as the radar antenna was swung about and pointed in the direction of the log. Then the voice of the chief radar man was heard, "Regarding the last sighting, we have a correction to make, sir. One is a male and the other, a female.
Soon after their wedding, the bride tells the groom, "Darling, now that we are married, I want you to fire your secretary."
"But, honey," says the groom, "you used to be a secretary yourself."
"Yes," she replies, "That's exactly why I want you to fire her." 
There was a guy who had a gong mounted in his bedroom. One day he was showing some friends around the new apartment... sorta a housewarming, but it was not a house, if you get the idea.
One of the late guests, who asked what that was, he told, "It's my verbal alarm clock. WATCH!"
With that, he struck it with a hammer 'bout as hard as he could. The neighbor in the next apartment yelled out, "JESUS CHRIST! It's 1 AM!"
The tenant replied, to his guest, "SEE? IT WORKS! Every time!" –
Thomas Jack, an Englishman, invented the automated packaging machine. This revolutionized commercial sales in 1924.
From that day on, he was known as 'Jack the Wrapper,' and he made a bundle!

One Liners and Questions

One Liners and Questions


Farmer Jones lives with his tame bear in the remote country with only dirt access roads. His tame bear had been naughty that day, so he put him in the barn. Jonesy said, "You stay here until you learn how to behave yourself!" Shortly afterwards it begin to rain, a real heavy downpour.
About an hour later a travelling salesman got stuck in the mud and asked the farmer for a place to stay. The farmer told him he didn't have room in the house, however, he could stay in the barn. He told the salesman there were no lights in the barn and his tame bear was in the barn. "The bear would not bother you."
The salesman went to the barn.
Later another travelling salesman got stuck in the mud and the farmer told him about the barn -- no lights and the tame bear. The second salesmen left for barn.
One hour later a woman got stuck in the mud and approached the farmer. He told her about the barn and mentioned the two travelling salesmen. He was so concerned about the salesmen he forgot to mention the bear. The woman said, "I can take care of myself," and left for the barn.
Two hours later Jonesy was awakened by heavy knocking at the door. When opening the door the woman was standing there, her clothes torn and rumpled! The farmer asked, "Good heavens! What happened to you?"
The woman replied, "I give up on human nature! The first guy gave me forty dollars, the second guy gave me fifty dollars, but that cheap bastard in the fur coat never even said thanks!" 


A young fellow on his wedding night in the Hotel Caribbean says to his new wife, "My God! I never realized you had such huge droopy breasts." The wife has a major hissy fit, and throws him out of the room.
While he is sitting in the hall, another fellow comes out down the hall. "What happened to you?" asks the first man.
"Well," replies the other, "I first saw my new wife naked tonight, and all I said was, 'Hells bells! I didn't realize you had such a big fat droopy ass!' Then she threw me out."
Just then a third fellow comes storming out into the hall with a face like thunder. "Hey" says the second fellow, "did you put your foot in it as well?"
"No," answers the third fellow, "But, shit! I bloody well could have!"


                         
Once a Farmer and his daughter went to the Market on a Market Day to sell their products. They almost sold everything except for 5 Kgs. of Flour. While returning home when they were in the midst of the forest a band of robbers jumped in. Seeing them the Farmer's daughter quickly turned behind and hid the money in her bra and turned back. The robbers asked them to surrender whatever they had and could not find anything except for the 5 Kgs. of Flour and decided to take it. After the robbers left the farmer started wailing and crying for having lost everything. The daughter quickly removed the money from her bra and showed it to the Farmer. The Farmer was overjoyed and danced with joy. But after a moment he beat his head and repented crying saying " if I had brought your mother too, she would have hide the 5 Kgs. of Flour"

You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you! 

When blue collar workers go out together on a weekend they talk about football.

When middle management are together, they talk about tennis.

Top management discusses golf.

Conclusion: The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls. 

MEN'S THOUGHTS DURING LOVE MAKING


Kissing/Light Petting

What he hopes you're thinking: "Oh, I can't resist: I'm powerless before your seductive ways!"
What he's afraid you're thinking: "Garlic breath--ewwww!"
Undressing
What he hopes you're thinking: "My God, look at the SIZE of that!"
What he's afraid you're thinking: "My God, look at the size of that!"
Foreplay/Oral Sex
What he hopes you're thinking: "I could worship at the alter of your impressive manhood for hours."

What he's afraid you're thinking: "If he doesn't warn me before he cums, I'm going to kill him."
Penetration
What he hopes you're thinking: "You stallion, you're splitting me in half!"
What he's afraid you're thinking: "Is it in yet?"
Your Orgasm
What he hopes you're thinking: "Yes, (his name here), yes!"
What he's afraid you're thinking: "I deserve an Academy Award for this performance."
What he's even more afraid you're thinking: "Yes, (other guy's name here), yes!"
Post coital Bliss
What he hopes you're thinking: "Now I know what an earthquake feels like."
What he's afraid you're thinking: "Maybe I should let my lesbian friend Sue take me to that females-only dance club after all."

Q. How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?

A. The prostitute stops fucking you after you're dead.



Top 10 things a man would do if he woke up in the morning with a Vagina:

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do a split.

7. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

6. Get picked up in a bar in less that 10 minutes

5. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

4. Go to the gyno and ask to have the examination recorded on video.

3. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts, too.

2. Actually catch a buzz off 1 wine cooler.

And the # 1 thing a man would do is:

1. Finally find that damn G-spot.