Thursday, November 8, 2012
Sunday, November 4, 2012
5 Min Management Course
Subject: 5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for advancement will pass right by you.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and shit on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for advancement will pass right by you.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and shit on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Monday, October 15, 2012
Saturday, October 13, 2012
What Your favorite Color Reveals About You
If your favorite color is:
RED Tend to be tigers in the sack. They are easily aroused and enjoy sex in
every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark is lighted, it may take hours to
extinguish. When two Reds get together, the ensuing erotica could make Lady
Chatterley blush. Lovers of Red tend to be the aggressors and weaker colors
should beware!
YELLOW If you tend to favor Yellow your sexual drivers are complex and lean
toward the adaptable. The favorite color of homosexuals is Yellow! No don't
panic, not everyone who wears Yellow is gay. In most cases the person will
acquiesce to the stronger partner's desires in a passive manner. You will
never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an invitation
from someone you enjoy or admire.
PURPLE Lovers of the color Purple frequently consider themselves too regal
for a fun romp in the sack. Women sometimes are the type who hate to muss
their hair. Men are businesslike in their approach to lovemaking. In both
sexes,Purple partners are more concerned with their fulfillment than anyone
else's gratification.
BLACK Black color preferences point to Black sex. These people are the
misfits of the sex world and seek out each other in kinship. They tend to
prefer perverted sex and are usually masochistic or sadistic in nature. They
are moody people and often perform at their peak when under stress or during
unhappy times. Police psychiatrists claim that many sex offenders prefer the
color Black. And it is no coincidence that the uniform of monsters and
teenaged gangs is Black attire.
GREEN Those who prefer Green are fresh and innocent in their approach to
sex. Women who love Green will make love like virgins all of their life. And
a man may always be a trifle clumsy and awkward, but in a charming and
endearing sort of way. Green lovers are gentle, but not passionate. If
chosen as a mate, one will never need worry about infidelity.
PINK Persons who like Pink show a reluctance to mature in sexual matters.
Women tend to tease; to promise more than they intend to deliver. In some
cases, they flaunt their femininity - but because they secretly hate men.
A great percentage of prostitutes boast entire lingerie wardrobes in Pink.
Men who like Pink are philanderers and flirts. They are the type who will
take three dates for the same evening and not keep one; preferring to pick
up a dish in some bar, instead. Women whose husbands like Pink should keep a
secret nest egg for when they are deserted. Pink indicates a tendency to
squander money.
ORANGE People who favor Orange tend to have sexual fantasies. The sex act is
regarded as a dramatic role, a one-act play in which they are the star.
Foreplay is as important as the act of love. They whisper sweet nothings;
meaningless dialogue they feel fits their image. Orange people often do not
experience orgasm, but they put on a darn good act. Men tend to pull their
partner's hair and women leave red welts on their sex partners back. But the
bruises and the ballyhoo add up to nothing.
BROWN If you love Brown, you are a real treasure for the right mate. Brown
lovers tend to be warm and deep. Sensitive to the needs and desires of their
partners. Sex is a 24-hour a day thing to them. They can't say "I Love You"
often enough. Snuggling by the fire, walking in the rain or catching
snowflakes on their tongue is a turn on to a lover of Brown. They need lots
of time and privacy to make love. But their emotions are such that one harsh
word could end the affair.
GRAY The color Gray is preferred by people who are indecisive. They can't
get excited about anything - including colors - so they choose a
noncommittal shade. Men who prefer Gray look at sex as a means of relieving
tension, (nothing more,nothing less). It's wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Women
who prefer Gray don't make love,they have intercourse. And for one of two
reasons,to accommodate their mate or to become pregnant. They count the
cracks in the bedroom plaster until the sex act is over with and done. When
a Gray marries another Gray, the marriage is made in heaven. But when teamed
with another color,the Gray spouse considers the color's infidelity a
blessing.
BLUE Lovers of Blue are wonderful sex partners. They are sincere,
affectionate and sensitive to their partners needs. They consider lovemaking
a fine art and their approach is elegant. Men who love Blue are like concert
pianists;delicately ravaging their partner like they would play a baby
grand. Women in the Blue category enjoy sex to the fullest. They are
exciting partners, but their passion might be compared to tidal waves rather
than fiery aggression. Both men and women enjoy foreplay and the aftermath
of love-making as much as the sex act itself. In marriage,a Blue person is a
wonderful mate - never failing to please the spouse and never seeking
outside
interests.
WHITE If a person in infatuated with White,sex often seems dirty. These
people are puritanical in nature. French kissing is obscene and to make love
in daylight in unheard of. Women who love White will undress beneath the
covers. Men will shower before and after the sex act. These people will use
pet names for their genitals.
RED Tend to be tigers in the sack. They are easily aroused and enjoy sex in
every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark is lighted, it may take hours to
extinguish. When two Reds get together, the ensuing erotica could make Lady
Chatterley blush. Lovers of Red tend to be the aggressors and weaker colors
should beware!
YELLOW If you tend to favor Yellow your sexual drivers are complex and lean
toward the adaptable. The favorite color of homosexuals is Yellow! No don't
panic, not everyone who wears Yellow is gay. In most cases the person will
acquiesce to the stronger partner's desires in a passive manner. You will
never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an invitation
from someone you enjoy or admire.
PURPLE Lovers of the color Purple frequently consider themselves too regal
for a fun romp in the sack. Women sometimes are the type who hate to muss
their hair. Men are businesslike in their approach to lovemaking. In both
sexes,Purple partners are more concerned with their fulfillment than anyone
else's gratification.
BLACK Black color preferences point to Black sex. These people are the
misfits of the sex world and seek out each other in kinship. They tend to
prefer perverted sex and are usually masochistic or sadistic in nature. They
are moody people and often perform at their peak when under stress or during
unhappy times. Police psychiatrists claim that many sex offenders prefer the
color Black. And it is no coincidence that the uniform of monsters and
teenaged gangs is Black attire.
GREEN Those who prefer Green are fresh and innocent in their approach to
sex. Women who love Green will make love like virgins all of their life. And
a man may always be a trifle clumsy and awkward, but in a charming and
endearing sort of way. Green lovers are gentle, but not passionate. If
chosen as a mate, one will never need worry about infidelity.
PINK Persons who like Pink show a reluctance to mature in sexual matters.
Women tend to tease; to promise more than they intend to deliver. In some
cases, they flaunt their femininity - but because they secretly hate men.
A great percentage of prostitutes boast entire lingerie wardrobes in Pink.
Men who like Pink are philanderers and flirts. They are the type who will
take three dates for the same evening and not keep one; preferring to pick
up a dish in some bar, instead. Women whose husbands like Pink should keep a
secret nest egg for when they are deserted. Pink indicates a tendency to
squander money.
ORANGE People who favor Orange tend to have sexual fantasies. The sex act is
regarded as a dramatic role, a one-act play in which they are the star.
Foreplay is as important as the act of love. They whisper sweet nothings;
meaningless dialogue they feel fits their image. Orange people often do not
experience orgasm, but they put on a darn good act. Men tend to pull their
partner's hair and women leave red welts on their sex partners back. But the
bruises and the ballyhoo add up to nothing.
BROWN If you love Brown, you are a real treasure for the right mate. Brown
lovers tend to be warm and deep. Sensitive to the needs and desires of their
partners. Sex is a 24-hour a day thing to them. They can't say "I Love You"
often enough. Snuggling by the fire, walking in the rain or catching
snowflakes on their tongue is a turn on to a lover of Brown. They need lots
of time and privacy to make love. But their emotions are such that one harsh
word could end the affair.
GRAY The color Gray is preferred by people who are indecisive. They can't
get excited about anything - including colors - so they choose a
noncommittal shade. Men who prefer Gray look at sex as a means of relieving
tension, (nothing more,nothing less). It's wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Women
who prefer Gray don't make love,they have intercourse. And for one of two
reasons,to accommodate their mate or to become pregnant. They count the
cracks in the bedroom plaster until the sex act is over with and done. When
a Gray marries another Gray, the marriage is made in heaven. But when teamed
with another color,the Gray spouse considers the color's infidelity a
blessing.
BLUE Lovers of Blue are wonderful sex partners. They are sincere,
affectionate and sensitive to their partners needs. They consider lovemaking
a fine art and their approach is elegant. Men who love Blue are like concert
pianists;delicately ravaging their partner like they would play a baby
grand. Women in the Blue category enjoy sex to the fullest. They are
exciting partners, but their passion might be compared to tidal waves rather
than fiery aggression. Both men and women enjoy foreplay and the aftermath
of love-making as much as the sex act itself. In marriage,a Blue person is a
wonderful mate - never failing to please the spouse and never seeking
outside
interests.
WHITE If a person in infatuated with White,sex often seems dirty. These
people are puritanical in nature. French kissing is obscene and to make love
in daylight in unheard of. Women who love White will undress beneath the
covers. Men will shower before and after the sex act. These people will use
pet names for their genitals.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Aurora and Rio assfucked by Tony T - xHamster.com
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Friday, August 24, 2012
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