Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Clean Hair


Clean Hair
Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "It's Keith. The midget."

You Have Been Favored

Knock,  Knock I knocked at heaven's door this morning..  God  asked me....'My child, what can I do for you?'  And  I said, 'Father, please protect and bless the  person reading this message.' God  smiled and answered...'Request granted'. 

I need a Raise


>
A:  Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?
>
B:  Sure, come on in.  What can I do for you?
>
A:  Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years.
>
B:  Yes.
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A:  I won't beat around the bush.  Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to
talk to you first.
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B:  A raise?   I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time.
>
A:  I understand your position, and I know that the current economic down turn has had a negative impact on sales,
but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro-activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade.
>
B:  Taking into account these factors, and considering I don't want to start a brain drain, I'm willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time.  How does that sound?
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A:  Great!  It's a deal!  Thank you, sir!
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B:  Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you?
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A:  Oh, the Electric Company, Gas Company, Water Company and the Mortgage Company!