God & The Devil's Cemetery Meeting

one for you, one for me
 

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan
tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys
filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out
of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one
boy. In the process of counting the nuts, several dropped
out of their hand or bags and rolled down toward the fence.

Outside of the fence, another boy came riding along the road
on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices
from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate.
Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you,
one for me."

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and
rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a
cane, hobbling along.

"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I
heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing
up the souls."

The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me
to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled to
the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, "One for
you, one for me. One for you, one for me..."

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth.
Let's see if we can see the Lord." Shaking with fear, they
peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see
anything.

The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the
fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of
the Lord.

Suddenly they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all.
Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes
ahead of the boy on the bike.

--
~Nicky~

A special Fairy Tale just for men

A special Fairy Tale just for men...

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess.... 'Will you marry me?'

The Princess said, ‘NO!!!'

 

And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted and scratched whenever he wanted.
The End

Study Reveals Why Monkeys Shout During Sex

Study Reveals Why Monkeys Shout During Sex

By Charles Q. Choi, Special to LiveScience

posted: 18 December 2007 08:33 pm ET

Female monkeys may shout during sex to help their male partners climax, research now reveals.

Without these yells, male Barbary macaques (Macaca sylvanus) almost never ejaculated, scientists found.
Female monkeys often utter loud, distinctive calls before, during or after sex. Their exact function, if any, has remained heavily debated.
Counting pelvic thrusts
To investigate the purpose behind these calls, scientists at the German Primate Center in Göttingen focused on Barbary macaques for two years in a nature reserve in Gibraltar.
The researchers found that females yelled during 86 percent of all sexual encounters. When females shouted, males ejaculated 59 percent of the time. However, when females did not holler, males ejaculated less than 2 percent of the time.
To see if yelling resulted from how vigorous the sex was, the scientists counted the number of pelvic thrusts males gave and timed when they happened. They found when shouting occurred, thrusting increased. In other words, hollering led to more vigorous sex.
Counting monkey pelvic thrusts is admittedly "quite weird, but it's science," researcher Dana Pfefferle, a behavioral scientist and primatologist at the German Primate Center, told LiveScience. "You get used to it."
Quite promiscuous
Male and female Barbary macaques are promiscuous, often having sex with many partners. This means sperm levels can get quite drained. The females shout when they are most fertile, so males can make the most use of their sperm.
Pfefferle noted her research suggests these calls might also make females more attractive to other males. She added these shouts might play different roles in other species.
Pfefferle and her colleagues detailed their findings online Dec. 18 in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B.

WARNING TO ALL MEN

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called 'Beer.'

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large 'kegs'. Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.

A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women to whom they would normally not be attracted.

After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that 'something bad' occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as 'a relationship.'

In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment referred to as 'marriage.' Men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

If you fall victim to this 'Beer' scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocki ng encounter with similarly victimized men.

For the support group nearest you, just look up 'Golf Courses' in the phone book.

For a video to see how beer works click here: Beer Demo  
 
Please! Forward this warning to every male you know.

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called 'Beer.' The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large 'kegs'. Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and t

MLA3_trailer.wmv (video/x-ms-wmv Object)

MLA3_trailer.wmv (video/x-ms-wmv Object)

Hot stock: Kolb, McNabb among big names on trading block - NFL - Sporting News

Hot stock: Kolb, McNabb among big names on trading block - NFL - Sporting News