Renault and Ford Joint Venture
Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.
Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'.
It comes only in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it — let alone turn it on – even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.
Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and can be a real bitch to start in the morning. Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can’t get it to turn over.
New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of.
Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age.
Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger. This model is not expected to reach ‘collector’ status.
Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it each year.
Rumor has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month, and can be a real bitch to start in the morning. Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can’t get it to turn over.
New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of.
Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, and the curb weight typically increases with age.
Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the trunk increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger. This model is not expected to reach ‘collector’ status.
Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it each year.
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Shorts
Did you ever wonder why most men have trouble playing football with women? They have a concentration problem. [open attachment to see how it works]
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Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions. One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy, "what is it?" Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear, "Boy, these feel just like your sister's. Then you try and hold on for 8 seconds!"
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When the members of a great old Southern aristocratic family heard that their daughter Clarabelle, who lived up north, had become a lady of the evening, they were stunned and shocked. "Imagine!" boomed Uncle Stonewall in despair. "It's a disgrace! One of our kinfolk having to work for a living!"
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Pick up Lines: Hi, my name is Roger. Don't forget it because you'll be screaming it later on tonight.
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A woman asked the Doctor, "What is a good time for sex?" Doctor winked and said, "Between 12PM and 1PM." Surprised woman asked, "And how it is that, Doctor?" Doctor said, "Well, that is the time, my nurse goes to lunch."
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Nudist camp: A place where men and women air their differences, bare with each other, live life in the raw greet each dawn as a nude day, and are all together in the altogether. To join, just leave your name and dress.
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I pulled into a town I couldn't believe still existed in this day and age. A dusty, dirt road, a little old wooden store that actually said "General Store", and that was it. There was a little old man sitting in front of the store in a rocking c hair... I said to him, "What do you folks do around here?" He said, "We don't do nothin' but hunt n' screw." I said, "What do you hunt?" He said, "Somethin' to screw."
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Two gays and two lesbians are fleeing the country. Which pair is going to make it out first? The two gays, they already have their shit packed.
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A Fallopian tube is not part of a TV set.
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An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus she whispered to the driver, “I have a dead pussy.” The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.”
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"I never slept with a man until I married your father," said the stern mother to her wild daughter. "Will you be able to say the same thing to your daughter?" "Yes," replied the girl, "but not with such a straight face."
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Confucius says man with diarrhea in Las Vegas likes craps.
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Mary, despite her good looks and charm, had still never dated any boys at the age of 19. Today she asked her Aunt Martha for advice with boys. "Aunt Martha," she started, "I've just started French kissing Tommy and I need to know where the spit should go. I don't want to dribble on my boyfriend." "Swallow," her aunt advised. "This will make you even more popular later on."
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Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.
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